On miscellaneous letters

      Dear palate, this weekend you had a test run with my experiments with couscous. You enjoyed the sun dried tomatoes (I bought ages ago and only used twice) and were proud of my culinary whims! Dear chickfila, you are delicious. And you give me the gnarliest heartburn I have ever had so our relationship is currently purely professional. Here's praying I can eat you again without my throat feeling as if I swallowed acid. Dear Harry (Connick Jr.), Frank (Sinatra) and Michael (Buble), yalls voices are Christmas inspirations. Thank you gentlemen! Dear Spanish 455 paper, you are still but a swirl of ideas in my brain, but you will get done and be full of intelligent musings on Hispanic female authors and their contrasting themes in poems and short stories. I sound smart already! Dear Jesus, I am ever growing, ever learning, and ever needing to press into You. Keep teaching me about faith over feelings. Love ya.

p.s. did you believe in Santa Clause when you were little? This has been quite the heated topic in The Shire (my apartment).

On Kanye's third album

Dear Lifeski, 

I'm GRADUATING. BOOM SHAKA LAKA. 

                     or     Estoy matriculándome! 

Crazy time. This was a BIG bright spot amidst my hectic work mess...but now I have entered procrastination station. Which is no bueno. I contemplated a Bodo's run tomorrow, but decided against it. Who knows, could still spontaneously fast-and-furious it to Cville!

      I have really gotten into the Christmas spirit this year!! It's wonderful! 

Ya'll...my new favorite store...DOLLAR TREE. More like HOLLER tree. Lemme get dat. 

Recently made purchases there: toothpaste, christmas decos (short for decorations, yo), chapstick, nail files, wrapping paper, pens, spatula...each for a BUCK. 

      Also, still high on my Amazon addiction of course--> I ordered this wonderful Christmas movie. Cannot wait for it to arrive and let the Shire see why I love it!!

repeat the sounding joy, 

Kelly 

p.s.- I'm going to miss college. And I mean the taking classes part. I have loved my Spanish courses this semester. dangit.

On choosing

Hey, listen to this song as you read my post. Then listen to it on your own. Please :)

      Tonight I feel like choosing to believe the Lord is good and faithful even when situations around us provoke me to think otherwise. I choose not to let my lack of understanding cause me to doubt. I love hearing the stories of others who have gone through dark valleys and have not only come out of them still trusting God, but in the midst they were leaning on Him and believing His goodness. (I think of Libby Ryder who went through cancer & was healed)

     I am continually reminded lately to gain a deeper understanding of Christ's great love for me. It seems unfathomable, it's too easy. That is why so many don't buy it. His grace for me is almost confusing. My brother spoke to me telling me to quit believing that God is so impatient with me, that my sins aren't being counted. Thanks Joel. 

Read this... 

"As we get into the enjoyment of Thy love may we find that we need scarcely any other heaven, either here or hereafter, only more of this love and the continuance of it."

That's Andrew Bonar from my favorite devotional. 

I think that's all for tonight. 

Lighter notes...today I got crafty whilest listening to a Christmas playlist with alternating songs by Michael Buble and Sufjan. It was PERFECTION. I remember reflecting on how cathartic it was and how glad I was to have that alone time. Sometimes I surprise myself with my introvert tendencies.

K BYE

On...change? my life? decisions?

Dear Lifesies, 

      Being home was good. It was hard in some ways because my "home" is no longer 858 Van Nuys street. My home is San Diego and all the people it contains and all the memories it holds. I love the Reinkes (my cousins) and I am VERY thankful for their openness in graciously letting my marmee stay with them and then letting Joel and I crash there when we are home, but it is still not the same. It is still not my house with my immediate family. My Auntie Robin and my mom were talking about how a bunch of the cousins are going to spend the night there on Christmas Eve. I thought it sounded fun but odd...it was not until later that I realized of course we should all spend the night because we need to wake up on Christmas day together. That is when it hit me. I could have cried...the idea of not having Christmas at our old house, not waking up to Bishop traditions just hurts. But this is a season of change, and I have been surprisingly okay with all the change. It makes me glad how well I have dealt with it, I think the Lord is really helping me. And, it helps that I love where I am in Harrisonburg. OH LIFE I am so torn between two sides of the country!!
      Anyway, only today. Only promised today. When the time comes decisions will be made. But for right now I am in Harrisonburg and I am leading a small group and I am (hopefully) graduating in December and I am praying to the Lord about the future but meanwhile trying not to fret too much. 

      One thing I know for sure- I worked at Forest Home over T-gives break and it was WONDERFUL. Just like usual. So lovely to be back with my beloved staff and my wild and adoring CCAs :) We sipped coffee in Chipmunk Corner as we played bananagrams and talked about our current stations in life. We sang songs with Music Papa again, we laughed about old jokes from the summer, we talked about Lauren's big butt, Alex Rae's artsy and free spirit, and of course...that Kelly needs to move back to California...yeah well join the club of people playing tug-o-war about where I should end up haha. But, it doesn't bother me. I feel loved. 

      Anyway Life, the Lord is teaching me a lot and showing me a lot of hard stuff...especially about myself. I just hope it sticks. I do not want my sin to define me. 

Well, better finish(start) a Spanish project and then hit the sack. 

indecisively yours, 

Kelly

p.s.- HOLLER for Christmas season, gonna deck the halls at The Shire and play Christmas music all the timeeeee!! :)

On true life

True Life...I have addictions to the following things:

• Purchasing earrings...studs, dangles, hoops, floral, bronze, buttons, etc etc       I WANT THEM.

• Bodos bagels. DUH.

• Chick fil a. I mean shoot, I work there dude. 

• Talking to my mama on ze telephone. Sorry for loving my mom a ton...JEEZE. 

• Putting "-zone" after words. But come on, it's coolzone. 

• On a more pathetic level...probably facebook. Damnit.

• And my roommate Nichole. Purely platonic and I still maintain it's good for my health. Back off bro you don't know me!!!

Now go listen to Simple Plan's whiny voice in their song Addicted. And if you're Sarah Wilson you probably loved this song in 8th grade.

 [This was in no way intended to make light of addictions. oh wait...I guess that is entirely what this was. shoot.]

On returning

Dear Life, 

       

      In just 9 days I will be returning to San Diego! Can you say "sushi family brothers laughter beach best friend cousins thanksgiving cafe 976 sunny weather" without smiling? -- CUZ I CAN'T. 

      Then, I will be returning to FOREST HOME. More capital letters!! I am so excited to be working Home for the Holidays! It is a winter retreat for family camp, ergo--> they need CCAs, which means they need counselors which means I RETURN to the place that gave me the best summer of my life. And I get to see some of my lovely staff andddd a lot of my favorite campers! :) 

      What an interesting last semester this will be. I feel like going from T-gives break and back to Harrisonburg in the Shire will be really odd and conflicting. Because I love San Diego, but I don't need to live there. But I really love camp and I want to keep working there. And I really love living at the Shire and this time of life leading a small group, still somewhat in the JMU community. It is all of these occupied corners of my heart but all of them are in such different places and all my friends and family are scattered about as well. shoot!

      Anyway, the Lord has been constantly whispering to me not to worry all semester. He keeps reminding me that when the time comes then pivotal decisions will be made, but not now. He gently reminds that worrying does nothing because it does not leave me any less conflicted, so I should enjoy the present. And I am doing just that. 

sooooooooooooooooo yeah.  

irresolutely yours, 

Kelly

p.s.- guess what this post reminded me of??? DUH. 

On jumping jacks

Dear Life, 

      You have been SUPER life-like lately. Seriously, jeeze lettin your true colors shine through. It is so odd I cannot decide if I am struggling right now. Well, I know I am struggling but I cannot decide if I am in a good place, or a hard place. Some things I go through are clear arrows at a sign that reads "BLESSED". Other obstacles lead me in the direction of "SUCKS". I don't know. Life is so messy. I am so messy. I am a big old mess. A mess of emotions, desires, nutella, chickfila, expectations, fears, naps, procrastination, sarcasm, long drives, wine and insecurity. WOW. Are you frightened? I feel like I frighten people. But there are some people I feel so comfortable around, so myself, so unafraid that I will screw up in front of them. I am thankful for people like that. I need to surround myself with them. And I truly hope I am that kind of person for my friends. I genuinely try to be. 

      I am so unbelievably blessed by my family. The fact that I can have a meaningful conversation with each of my brothers about pursuing the Lord and having doubts just knocks me off my rocker sometimes!! Hey, I don't have a rocker, but if I did, I would not be on it right now. I can never take that for granted. (not the rocker thing the brother thing)

      I am learning about Jesus. Well, I am trying to learn more about Him. I am going to just keep reading over the Gospels again and again, because that is all we have about Him and I want to know Him. This excites me. I need my own personal relationship with Jesus, and in order to do so I have to read the Word and discover things in my quiet time with God, apart from what I am told by others. I need to get to know Christ in a one-on-one setting. Let the Holy Spirit do his thang.

Hey, thanks for reading, it means a lot. 

Messily yours, 

Kelly 

p.s.- this wasn't really on jumping jacks at all, it's just a weird name for an exercise

On adam and eve blowin it for all of us

Dear Lifecakes,

      So I have been sick lately. Like the nasty-green-phlegm-scratchy-throat-blowing-my-nose-24/7 kind of sick. It's awesome. What's even more awesome? It messes up my sleep at night and I wake up to a hacking cough or to blow my stuffy noise. NICE! 

I know you are loving this post already. I think a cold like this is def a product of the fall of man. 

What else is a product of the fall? When your jeans get a hole in the inner thigh part. Ladies you know what I am talkin about. It is quite the depressing discovery. Let's just tell ourselves it is because the fabric on the jeans is too thin...

Another fall-of-mankind product: when you unload the dishwasher only to discover half the dishes did not get washed properly and might even still have remains of the food that was previously eaten off of them. We had a cruddy dishwasher at my house in San Diego, and we would always bellow at the devil when we unloaded! BELLOW I SAY. 

Alright, I'm being dramatic. 

Moving on, oh! oh! BIG news: MY ROOM IS CLEAN. haaaahhh!

It looks good, too. Like really good. Like I think my leather desk chair was hitting on my organized closet. I had to tell them no inner room dating. Leather desk chair took it pretty hard, but Liana just reorganized and cleaned out her room, so I think he'll be able to move on.

Also, I made some carrot cake with maple and cream cheese frosting. Can you spell B-O-M-B? 

It was something new for me so I am pleased. My next endeavor--> tackling a chicken chili for Shire dinner!

culinarily yours, 

Kelly

p.s.- ssnnnggmmmmm aacchhhkkkkk...oh sorry that was just my nose and throat being sicknasty still...

On pressing issues

Reasons why cleaning my rooms sucks: 

• lack of fun
• consumes time I could use to sit around and do nothing or be eating or watching my 10974th episode of Gilmore Girls
  
• my room is small and dark & therefore already a less-than-great atmosphere to be in let alone clean
• I'm afraid what I'll find underneath my 20-foot deep pile of clothes
• I don't enjoy doing it (see bullet #1)

Reasons why one shouldn't wear "Jesus is my homeboy" t-shirts:

• it does not make any sense
• it is confusing- is He your homeboy and your Savior? Is He your friend? Do you just think he held good values? 
• It is apathetic- comes close to making a statement of belief, yet doesn't.
• lacks reverence for God
• Pamela Anderson wore it once

                                                          Fin.

On what matters

"I just want to be beautiful". 

        A phrase that I would hazard a guess every female on the planet has thought at one point or another. Okay, large embellishment? Whatever. Regardless of what their idea of beauty is, or in what context, it is still something girls desire to be thought as. Beautiful. Attractive. Desirable. I'm thinking...'worth it'. Or being someone's first choice. Are any of yall feeling this? Are you thinking- "YUP" ?

What a heavy thing to carry around. It's exhausting! Even on my best-looking, most positive outlook day I could still find something wrong, or a reason why some charming dude has not swept me off my feet and declared I am exactly what has been missing from his life. (And if you already have that charming dude, you still want to be beautiful, it doesn't disappear).

        As I struggled with this one evening, I glanced at my bedside table and saw a small piece of paper I had purposefully placed there a week prior; it reads, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God".

Now, maybe what seems more satisfying/like a better solution to glance at is "God thinks you are gorgeous" or "You are beautiful exactly the way you are".

But this is better. I can relax and quit worrying about my outward appearance because it is nothing to do with the kingdom of God. And THAT is what matters and what I should seek after. What a beautiful conviction. It is not selfish. And it is of utmost importance. Such a better focus for me.

On awestruck autumn

Things as of late that have strong associations with autumn and which I have taken joyful part in: 

• strolls through a lovely neighborhood with a friend or two (Margeypoo :)
• breath taking drives with breath taking views of mountains and the breath taking sunsets. I have no breath left. 
• Deep affection for the changing leaves. Best color scheme there is. 
• Hot, homemade, zucchini soup with tomato-herb bread bought at the Harrisonburg farmer's market.
• Apple picking. boom. 
• climbing trees (can be applied to almost any season)
• purchasing new boots-- look out!
•  panera dates/bstud planning with my favorite co-leader
• wafting aroma of my constantly-burning, spiced cranberry candle!

enjoy these splendid photographic representations I have taken

 

On Psalm 63

^LIFE...

¹ You, God, are my God,
   earnestly I seek You;
I thirst for You,
   my whole being longs for You,
in a dry and parched land
   where there is no water.

 ² I have seen You in the sanctuary
   and beheld your power and your glory.
³ Because your love is better than life,
   my lips will glorify You.
⁴ I will praise You as long as I live,
   and in your Name I will lift up my hands.
⁵ I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;
   with singing lips my mouth will praise You.

 ⁶ On my bed I remember You;
   I think of You through the watches of the night.
⁷ Because You are my help,
   I sing in the shadow of your wings.
⁸ My soul clings to You;
   your right hand upholds me.

 ⁹ Those who want to kill me will be destroyed;
   they will go down to the depths of the earth.
¹⁰ They will be given over to the sword
   and become food for jackals.

 ¹¹ But the king will rejoice in God;
   all who swear by God will glory in Him,
   while the mouths of liars will be silenced.

On Bodos

Scribbled down whilest in the aforementioned place of rapture [directly taken out of my journal]:

         So, of course, Jesus is my constant source of joy. But, can a pastrami provo on everything bagel from Bodo's be just under that?! I just...I just love food, and this particular meal has 3 of my favorite things- meat, cheese & bread. I just know Paula Deen would love this sandwich. She really would. It has mayonnaise on it! Bodo's makes me feel like a glutton because I can never get enough. It is so filling and yet I could eat another one. I would feel like sh*t afterward but it would be a delicious experience until then. The saddest picture in the world is 1/4 of my bagel left on my tray. Knowing I need to savor these last bites. Would Bodo's hold such a place in my life/heart if there was one in Harrisonburg? I feel like yes...

Bodos is one of the earthly things I hope heaven holds. Along with chick-fil-a, ultimate frisbee, and the banjo.

...pleased even with stumbles

Here is something invaluable that Clive Staples tells us..

        "But the obedience which [God] demands of men is quite a different thing. One must face the fact that all the talk about His love for men, and His service being perfect freedom, is not (as one would gladly believe) mere propaganda, but an appalling truth. He really does want to fill the universe with a lot of loathsome little replicas of Himself- creatures whose life, on its miniature scale, will be qualitatively like His own, not because He has absorbed them but because their wills freely conform to His. [The enemy] wants cattle who can finally become food; He wants servants who can finally become sons." 

Lewis goes on to say this...

"He wants them to learn to walk and must therefore take away His hand; and if only the will to walk is really there He is pleased even with their stumbles"

*bear in mind the context of The Screwtape Letters, hence the odd vocabulary with 'loathsome' and 'appalling truth'. It is sort of a bad guys point of view. check out the book :)

On current happenings

Dear Life, 

       I went to Dayton Days with Amy, and it was lovely. A chilly day to use an understatement, and yet it was a sign that the season is changing, and I got to bundle up which honestly I enjoy doing sometimes. But, don't mistake me for a lover of winter. Certainly not! It was blissful to stroll down the festival streets with my Shmames and stop at cute stands with hand-made crafts. Gorgeously painted pottery with bright images of trees and country landscapes-- RIGHT down mine and Amy's alley! Hand crafted earrings, homemade candles and maple syrup, uniquely built and painted birdhouses, etc etc. I could use up an entire blog entry on just this "2011 autumn celebration". But I shant. :)

       Leading my small group has been a grand blessing! And as I have heard their hearts, their struggles and their desires for this next year I am whisked back to myself as a freshman. And through leading this small group I have been so encouraged by my own growth. The Lord has given me a glimpse of how far I have come in my process of being a follower of Christ. It is so cool! I wish I could tell these girls, "you're going to be okay! You will learn these things, you will make mistakes but you'll turn out just fine and still in one piece!". I do not know why this season has been somewhat filled with self-confidence and just more assurance in who I am, but I am truly thankful to God for it. NEAT-O!

progressingly yours, 

Kelly

p.s.- Cheers! to a spiced cranberry candle that brings a whole new meaning to autumn aromas!

       

On worrying

Dear Lifecrap, 

       I have this song lyric I very much love...so much so that I have written it fancifully on a piece of cardboard and it sits in my room in order to be seen and to remind me.

                "Cuz I got a lot of walkin' to do, and I don't wanna wear my worried shoes" 

As it goes in the song you would discover it is much more dramatic and with necessary pauses. Life, I am here to tell you that I do not want to worry anymore!!! How much of my time is spent worrying?! Too dang much I'll tell ya. Worrying about what people think. Worrying about my future [insert ominous music here]. Worrying about what to wear. Worrying if I'll find a husband. Worrying about BLEH. I need to stop worrying- YES, even when things are absolutely, positively, without a doubt not going my way. I would like to practice that. Obviously it goes hand in hand with trust. Isn't that a pretty picture? Fingers interlocking, woven together and they belong to Mr. Trust and Mrs. No Worries. 

I know, I know...it sounds idealistic huh? Well, we would not do a lot of things if we thought the idea was so lovely as to be preposterous. So hold me accountable will ya, Life (slash reader slash God)?

preposterously yours, 

Kelly

p.s.- after doing some research I see that my song was in Where the Wild Things Are. Not only did I NOT hear this song from that movie (I've had it since high school), but I will formally announce my dislike of that movie. Good Day.

On Letters

Dear Life, you can throw this chilly weather at me but I am unaffected by it in the cozy Shire. Plus, it makes my morning jog less sweaty--> scorezone! Dear Shirefolk whom I live with, you have made this season warm and joyful for me. I feel blessed to live with you fellow hobbits. And EACH of you makes me laugh until my sides hurt. Dear Jesus, I love the fragrance of your name. I love your gracious nature that teaches me to forgive. Dear Wailin' Jennys, you are my autumn muse. I am thoroughly pleased to have stumbled upon yall on my Nickel Creek Pandora station. Keep singin those sweet melodies to me. 

steadily moving forward,

Kelly

p.s. yes, perhaps I borrowed this idea from my favorite inspirational blog. Sorry not sorry bout it.

I think King David was a dancer

Dear Life, 

       Can I let you in on a little secret? I listened to the following song and danced around in my living room. That's right, all nine minutes and forty-seven seconds of it. While my roommates were gone. At 11:30 in the afternoon. It filled me with such great joy. For about 5 seconds I realized how silly I was and then I stopped caring and kept rejoicing that I have love, hope, and freedom in CHRIST. I was jumping up and down and movin around the room and lifting my hands. Sometimes I fear people aren't ready for me. They don't realize what I am capable of. The long spectrum of weirdness. Like spontaneous dancing alone in my apartment! 

I encourage you to embrace those moments when you can be free and joyful and it's all because of what thee God has done in your life...and do something WEIRD/FUN.

Then, you'll experience how liberating it is when nothing else seems to matter. 

so here...i DARE you...

His, 

Kelly 

p.s.- make sure the volume is way up :)

On far off places

Dear Life, 

      It is time for my national geographic findings PART DEUCE. 

You may or may not remember this post. Without further ado... 

We begin with Auckland, New Zealand (click to enlarge). This one goes out to my dear friend and roommate, Liana, who will soon be traversing through these parts, embarking on new adventures. America can never keep her long enough ;)

Along the harbor this photo stands out to yours truly because I have always loved the view of boats on the water...can't quite pinpoint why...perhaps it is its peaceful quality. And it holds the hope that soon the vessel will be off at sea!

I do love a good nature photo but I really love a good capturing of people. Different people, unknown people, cross-culture people. I couldn't resist those jubilant faces. These adorbsiebabes are amidst the barley fields of Mustang, Nepal. Maybe the reeds were tickling them :)

A classic bar in Havana, Cuba. This photo shares with us the cultural richness of Havana. Oh how I would love to order some expresso or perhaps a Cuban liquer from this spot and just people watch! Apparently Ernest Hemmingway has strong influence on this local bar. He was a fan of Cuba so Cuba is a fan of him.

This charming photo was taken in old town Quebec, Canada. I. Love. This. I want to stroll along this street during the holiday season and think warm thoughts. It is Canada's oldest city so I bet it is has the fullness of history, too. 

      Well, that was simultaneously exciting and depressing for me. Now I want to travel. But, I must remind myself how content I am to be living in the Shire. This place can be pretty exciting, and when it's not- well I welcome the dullness and ease, ya know?

still high hopes to travel the world, 

Kelly 

p.s.- Okay folks I am dying to know which photo you liked best or which place you would want to visit?!

On joy in the little (& big) things

Dear Life,

       Well, you have done it again. Here I am, in transition mode. Well, I am slowly moving out of transition mode, but still. Camp is over (POOP) and school has started. But, the Lord has once again proven Himself GOOD. But I want to say this not just because I am happy circumstantially. But because He is teaching me, and stretching me, and showing me that not all seasons are filled with sorrow and forced joy. Sometimes the joy is just evident. And sometimes we have to grab the joy! I have to say--> you know what, there are things I can complain about and there are hardships I still struggle with, but I choose to focus on the blessings before me. I choose to recognize that life is not about happy or sad. Times are mostly an intermingling of those two. And sometimes they are more one than the other. I choose to take what I learned from working at Forest Home and apply it in Harrisonburg even if I do mourn after my summer. I choose to be incredibly thankful for The Shire, my new home, and see what opportunity I have at real intentional living with friends at a similar lifeplace as myself. I will grab that joy and hold fast to knowing that I have a Lord who is for me. I have a Lord who wants to use me. 

        Anyway, it has been an interesting past 2ish weeks. 

        Another note: I have been eating hummus like it's my job! Deli-made hummus from the Co-op. Hummus with tomatoes, wheat thins, red pepper, on a sandwich w/ avocados, etc. Can't get enough. 

        And, I am taking Spanish classes with professors who seem wonderful and friends in my classes. :)

        Here is something new- if you want to pray for me...I have been thinking a lot these past couple months about money & how in debt I am with loans. I guarantee if you are reading this- I am more in debt than you are. Trust me, I aint bragging neither. Pray that I trust the Lord and that He provides monetarily for me as I begin to pay those off in the next year. It can be very scary. 

adiós mis lectores/as, 

Kelly 

p.s.- shoutout to my BROTHA who started his own blog! I hope he keeps it up...hint hint! ;)

On ATTRACTION.

HE IS ATTRACTIVE. 

i just...i can never get over it...

And THEY are attractive...

why not me????

Perhaps you find this a strange posting to begin with after my long absence. I do not care. 

in love with fictional characters, 

Kelly

p.s.- it's good to be back. I hope yall stay tuned :)

On sunshine and sunburns

Dear Lifesies, 

         Perhaps in a twisted sort of way I enjoy a good sunburn. There are several reasons for this. For starters, the result. For me, the most likely end result will be turning my skin into that nice olivey brown color it takes on. The color that I always considered natural until I moved to a horrible place they call the "east coast". (just kidding folks, i love [most of] the ec) 

       Another reason I love getting sunburned is because it makes me feel alive. You know how it seems most of the male gender enjoy inflicting pain on themselves at one point or another? Be it wrestling, boxing, singeing off their leg hairs with a lighter, playing bloody knuckles, doing belly flops...and I could go on? Well this is my rabbit hole into that strange phenomenon. The pain feels good, its warm and stinging sensation reminds me that I am alive and that rays of the sun are in me! AH!

        This afternoon I departed the beach being fairly assured that I had been burned by the sun. I was excited with, albeit, a bit of nervousness as well regarding the pain that was sure to accompany my new state. Now, today I did not intend to get sunburned. Yesterday, yes, yesterday I might have been purposefully careless in order to ensure some color. But, today I applied sunscreen, just not very well and probably should have reapplied more often. Nonetheless, here I am, burnt. It's a funny idea to think of myself as burnt, isn't it?

EXCEPTION: the lateral sides of my thighs. I heave a huge sigh as I inform you that the right side of my right thigh, and the left side of my left thigh are still quite pale. They are living in a cottage with 7 dwarfs. In fact, they appear even whiter up next to the tan/red hue of the rest of my leg. Because the sun does not directly hit that spot as easily. It's sooo frustrating! I want an even tan!

However, this blog writer is still delightfully pleased with the discomfort of a sunburn. :)

lobsteringly yours, 

Kelly

p.s.- let us pray that peeling is not in my future!!

it don't come easily

Dear Life, 

       if a person slumbers and there is no one around to hear- do their snores make a sound? That's what I have been catching up on- sweet, sensible, sleep. Although this does present the problem of more dreaming; and if you do not already know I HATE DREAMS. 

      I was digging into an orange earlier and it's juices were spilling out onto my hands and it tasted quite delectable. Simple things. 

      I tend to live out my day in an entirely selfish way. Especially if that day is in the middle of summer, with my job still a good week away and no other real obligations. I want to work on that. Mom needs help sorting out boxes and such for the house move (insert sad emoticon and actual forlorn face here). And the Lord deserves a good chunk of my day reserved for processing Israel and praying for life, friends, Zababdeh (small town in the West Bank), etc. Even the beach has not received my adequate attention. There are grains of sand to be scuffled, waves to be surfed, and sunsets to be admired. I am sounding more selfless already, aren't I?

But for serious, here is to glorifying the Lord more in my every day life!

zealously yours, 

Kelly 

p.s.- Another smattering of thoughts for a post because too many giant events and overarching thoughts to even begin something worthwhile. Beggin your pardon- I'm sure you don't mind.

Holy, Holy, Holy

I am departing for Israel tomorrow. 

It is happening. If I continue to think/talk about it I will FREAK OUT AAHHHH ASLKJHCGDUSHDUWFTCVGSBHIJHBTDR9876TBJHG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let me just say, I cannot wait for encounters with my Savior and Father on this trip, but I am fearful of trying and worrying and over analyzing and comparing and too much journaling and not enough journaling and feeling emotional etc etc

I just want to be. With Him.

Soon, and very soon.

A smattering of consciousness

Dear Life, 

       I have been thinking about how nothing feels substantial enough to blog about, nothing has given me that zing thought "Oh I am totes gonna blog about that". But, then I realized, actually maybe so much is happening right now that I have not slowed down to blog, or they are all far too substantial to blog about. Moreover, I cannot put into words the rush of emotion I feel about this season of life ending, or the anxiousness I have towards this summer, or the joy I have felt as my friends and I execute some "lasts" of ours. Often I post light-hearted, unimportant content on here and there just has not been much of that. So, in hopes to alleviate this feeling of hurriedness (I think I made that word up) and becalm my spirit, I will make quick, snippity (also made up) remarks on 'common' events lately. 

       I saw the sun rise this morning over the mountains with some good friends amidst a week of busyness. What a gift. Thou burning sun with golden beam, indeed. Oh praise Him! 

      I love when the purchases I buy in one outing are so fun. And it is never about the purchases themselves but the reason behind them. Buying blueberries, pears, spinach lettuce, gorgonzola, and green peppers to make a summery dinner for a friend. Buying a new, beautiful journal that I love so I can document ISRAEL. (IsraelIsraelIsrael) And buying some necklaces to give to several of my 8th grade girls whom I adore and have been so privileged as to be a part of their lives.

      Lastly, because it is the norm that I complain about the weather...seriously summer has still not come full force and even spring has been weaksauce. I can't wait to be in California climate soon.

avoiding the reality that this week signifies, 

Kelly 

p.s.- *sob*

O sweet spontaneous earth

Dear Life,

I need to pause more often. 

Just this late afternoon I wound up having some unexpected free time and pulled over to what appeared to be a scenic road. I stopped and got out and plopped onto the grass. Often I punish myself for thinking too much, especially about issues or circumstances I feel can injure my heart if I dwell on them. But, perhaps I need to give myself some healthy moments of peace where I can think and breathe and see that my thoughts are not going to bring the world crashing down on me. It was a beautiful day. I was lying down on my stomach, propped up on my elbows, taking special notice of everything surrounding me. The blades of grass were dancing and fluttering endlessly in the wind, with the few vibrant yellow flowers close by bobbing up and down. There were birds flying and zipping from tree to tree, and others were singing their repeating melodies. Two high whistles and one lower one. Two high whistles and one lower one. Like a chorus in a song. The clouds were wonderful. All sorts were out today. There were the wispy long ones that look like a paint brush sweeped them across the sky. There were those full and majestic clouds that look proud and of whitest white. And then I saw some like cotton balls with the ends all teased out. The sun was not quite saying farewell but was definitely not at it's strongest. There were rolling hills in the distance, and a church with it's empty parking lot right next to my peaceful spot.

Sacrifices need to be made more often for me to set aside time like I had today. 

Thanks for letting me get all lyrically descriptive up in hurr. I just felt like taking my artsy thoughts and putting them on [internet] paper. 

wistfully yours, 

Kelly

p.s.- another e. e. cummings poem in my title. Cheeyeck it out.

So photogenic

Dear Life,

      So I have this tendency to go on to the National Geographic website, to the countries section, and just choose a country and look at the pictures & occasionally read some facts (Jamaica has been colonized since 1494!!).

Today I share with you some of my favorite photos (bear in my mind I still have much exploring to do on the sight, these pitchyas are a small percentage). Click to enlarge.

This is in Mumbai, India at a [hard-to-pronounce] railway station. I love the blurriness with the still frame. And the architecture of the building is so elegant.

The North Pole??? No such luck. This is a view of Svalbard, Norway, at night with snow-covered mountains.

The vibrant colors are just shouting beauty and I just love how they adorn their wrists with gorgeous crafts. These are Maasai women in Kenya. 

These little girls in Brazil are wearing beautiful head wraps that make them look like young ladies. If only I could rock one as well as they do.

Vacation getaway to the South Pacific island of Tonga, anyone?? It's quite small and quite breathtaking. 

This might become a habitual occurrence on my blog- to display my findings during my internet travels. 

hoping to be an actual world traveler, 

Kelly

p.s.- which photo do you love the best y por qué?

freezie pops > a downpour

Dearest Life, 

       I am excited about the hopefully auspicious event of Graffiti Goes Out with a Pop(sicle)! What a good time it is bound to be. Please Lord bless us with favorable weather. I want the conviviality to be wildly out of hand. I want the merriment to be maximized and the enjoyment to be endless. 

       I had far too many cats and dogs fall all over me today. This pouring rain does not fly with me. It actually makes me angry. Please just let me be angry, I am not an angry person so it is unnecessary to press your optimism upon me- I am allowed to dislike something. And today that something is COLD, HEAVY RAIN. Thank you, Life.

       Let's hear a hip hip hoo-rah! for my social activeness lately. And doing it all without spending actual money (JMU dining dollars does not count). Reminding me of my extrovert tendencies is the energy and joy I gained from intentional time spent with many friends today and last night. Cowabunga! I'm surfing the waves of friendship. And it is refreshing.

(Great now I am even more dejected about the weather and yearn for the beach)

Parsimoniously yours, 

Kelly 

p.s.- Graffiti goes out with a POP! and I am left here with a sob. Such is Life.

Like what you like and be who you be

Dear Life,

       I love playing Ultimate Frisbee. I love being on a team of people who are going to try their best, not just to win but because it feels good to care and be fervent about something. Many people don't understand competitiveness in sports but boy I sure do. Ultimate is a sport I feel confident in. I like being an integral part of a team. Because in volleyball, yeah I can hold my own and might not be bad, but still. It's like cereal...it might not be bad for your health but it's not hugely improving it, either. In frisbee I feel more like grapes or lettuce (not quite the gnarliest vegetable/fruit). I like strategizing when to cut in and where to send the disc; how to flick it so it arches over that guys head & into my teammate's hands. Sports can sometimes be an art form.

       I was talking to a very good friend of mine about being who we are and being okay with who we are. I thought of how I enjoy sports and being competitive. Often I feel like I should apologize for that. Perhaps it's the stigma that only men can get roused up about athletics, or that it is not Christian to want to win or to care so much about a game. I call it passion. And I take personal affront to those who claim I am not being "lady-like". 

I grew up with 4 boys, 

Kelly 

p.s.- What is something you might feel silly about being passionate towards?!

Oh, Cornelia where art thou?

Dear Life, 

       Our toilet won't stop running. It's making this constant rushing sound that I aint tryin to have- and now it won't flush. Good riddance to that john! Cheese and rice that baño is one thing I will not miss about the Graffiti House. And our freezing cold downstairs either. Which I will admit was nice yesterday when it was sunny and warm (AS IT SHOULD BE (IN FREAKIN APRIL)).

      I have been thinking how nice it would be to have a servant. No no just picture it with me for a moment. Or think of a butler if that eases your conscience. I wake up in the morning and I have to get ready super quick (and doing anything at more than a glacial pace one minute after waking is dang near impossible for me)- I would love to say "Cornelia (that's what I imagine her name being) start the tea kettle/coffee pot please." or while I'm in the shower "Cornelia! Would you lay out my SDSU sweatshirt and skinny jeans on my bed, please". Even those few minutes would be a great help. Come on, you know you want one, even just a little bizzle, am I rizzle? 

Now Life, these gloomy days? Hell to the no. Cut out that mess. My tan from urban jungle is gone. Up-set-ting.

naturalistically yours, 

Kelly 

p.s.- I saw this band last night and it was magical. I wish I was still in the venue closing my eyes and engulfed in their powerful sound waves. Unforgettable.

Tantalizing Tidbits

Dear Life,

       A good meatball can be as rare as an unbroken trampoline. (Doesn't there seem to always be something wrong with a tramp? no pun intended). I made chicken meatballs for dinner and they were good...but could still use some improvement. Excited to tackle that culinary challenge at a later date.

       And good friends are like sugar to the soul. And I love sugar.

Finding the perfect mood-setting music is a difficult task. Especially since lately my preferences have been ever so specific. "Light-hearted, foot-tappin, Jesus music" for getting ready in the morning. Or "soulful, yet uplifting R&B music" while I dance & sing in the shower.

Cooking is probably the hardest for me to set the perfect mood. James Vincent McMorrow was a decent choice, but perhaps too mellow.

      Today as I was driving I saw above a building an electronic sign that flashes words across. Well this is literally what I saw as I drove past: 

                                 "40 degrees..........Life........."

Exactly. 

it's seventy-seven in San Diego, 

Kelly

p.s.- Now of course the sign was a bank or insurance place, but I think it was really Life just messin with me, as usual. Oh ho ho Life, YOU SLAY ME.