celebrating a life

GUYS.  

             It has been a while. My apologies. And a special thanks to those who have mentioned my lack of blogging, it feels nice to know people care even a smidge about my ramblings. 

To dive right in, today I went to a memorial service or a celebration of life if you will. A good family friend of ours passed away a few weeks ago. He is/was an amazing man. I mean...I will not be able to do him justice. Everyone called him Bear. He is best friends with my uncle. His family is awesome and we would often get together with them for game night. And honestly those nights happened because I would personally talk to Bear at my uncle's church about getting the 3 fams together :) . Before Bear met the Lord he lived a gnarley life of sin and anger and drugs/steroids and he was in the Vietnam war and he hated his father and all this other crap. But Bear was life and joy and acceptance and comfort. 

Basically, this post is about everything I learned/was reminded of by his memorial service. The service was exactly as he would have liked it. Casual attire, a Gospel choir, people cracking jokes about Bear, and more importantly...sharing about Christ and getting right before God and accepting grace and not living a luke warm life. 

Like most deaths, it reminds you of how fragile our days are, and what a gift each one is. It was a huge reminder to live with an eternal mindset. Who the hell cares about the world and what people think? In the grand scheme of things GOD THE FATHER AND HIS SON ARE WAY MORE IMPORTANT. How selfish are we? I want to live like Bear, he would drop anything for someone in need. He made it his life mission to tell people about how Christ changed him. He went to the marine base every Sunday and spoke to young men about the saving power of God. And you know what? True fact, over 5,000 marines gave their life to Christ through Bear. And it is recorded that 4,000 of them were personally baptized by Bear. But Bear would not dare take the credit. He wasn't like that. 

I will miss him so much, he was so loving towards me, so fun, so crass and ridiculous but so centered on his faith. Lucky him that he is in Heaven kickin back with the Big Guy. He would probably say to me, "Kell, quit crying I'll see ya up here in a second. Keep changing the world for God and don't worry so much about me being gone I've got it made". 

So let's focus on going 100% for the Lord and others, and live with BIG joy and BIG grace like BIG Bear did.

on the Best

I have had all these streams of conversations/studies about submission, denying myself, trusting the Lord lately...and all of these streams seem to stem from one grand outpouring truth that is: God knows what is best for me. He has His best in mind. It is not about the end product. It is about the process of becoming more and more HIS. I want to be His, but not just the simple knowledge that I am His. But making the choice, to believe I am His and I can stay His amidst any circumstance, any decision, any trial, etc.

OH that it would always be this way in my heart and mind. That I would not be deceived into believing there is any other way more appealing, more satisfying. 

Can't help but feel like the theme verse for this is Romans 8:28. I hate to admit that I am guilty of slight feelings of cliché towards this verse. That is silly. 

Meanwhile, 

this song is lovely. Have a listen. 

on major choices & sweet trips

What if I move home??

What if my life completely changes, not just geographically (as if that isn't big enough) but socially, vocationally, spiritually, etc etc ??

I can 'what if' until the cows come home (which they won't...its California). But, I am praying and wondering and seeking and reading and receiving counsel.

This weekend I am going to Manhattan and I am very excited! Saturday I will literally be bakery-hopping. My friend writes a food blog/column for an online magazine and so she does things like this on the reg. She sent me 5 links which contained more links to New York's tastiest donut shops, bakeries, cupcake joints, and MORE. I came up with 6 places for us to "sample" our way through. Tomorrow will definitely bring a long run in preparation for a sugary weekend. 

Here is a sneak peak of our bakery adventure

 

i go home in 13 days.

p.s. I forgot a happy cow is a California cow. I'll retract my former statement.

Your

In Your warmth

      I feel whole

With Your grace

      I am free

With Your voice

      I know truth

By Your death

      I am pure

In Your presence 

      I am known.

On where I am??

Dear Life, 

       Can't quite figure you out this season. As I sit here listening to Van Morrison's "I forgot that love existed (Live)", I cannot settle on just one attitude for my current station. But, I know this, I am not in a valley. We Christians like to label sections of life in terms of mountains, peaks, valleys, meadows, deserts, etc. It is one of our things. Along with "intentional loving" and thinking we have read more C.S. Lewis books than everyone else.

Life you yet again have me in a job I am beginning to sternly dislike. It has it's ups and downs but the downs are taking the lead. 

Woooo doggie and don't even get me started on decision making! Transition Transition Transition. 

But then Life, you have given me these amazing roommates who cover all facets of a relationship--> depth, fun, spiritual challenges, chill time, communal sharing...I mean heck, I keep the door open when I pee sometimes. And it's practically a rule to put on sweat pants when you get home. We keep things classy. 

But boy I sure miss home. 

Also Life, I found this awesome church RIGHT in the midst of a time when I might be leaving the area. As my friends south of the border say: no bueno, compadre. 

Anywho, my thrift store finds have been on the rise lately, so that's rad. And I'm seeing a lot of divas (Graffiti) this month. Also rad. 

Missing my mom and feelin this song, 

Kelly 

p.s. Van Morrison is still relevant...

on Power

"By His breath the skies became fair" Job 26:13

Thinking lately about God's unlimited, thunderous, power.
"Righteousness in everything He does" says Isaiah.
Majestic is such a good word because it not only means splendour- but mighty. 

p.s. my own photos. First taken in Virginia at sunrise, second the sunset in San Diego.

on Mr. Darcy

All women want in a man is a nice tush and deep pockets, correct? 

False. At least I am speaking on behalf of 90% of girls that I know. 

It is also a circulated non-truth that most girls like arrogant guys, assholes if you will. Pardon my french, s'il vous plait. 

The reason us swooning females dote on Mr. Darcy has nothing to with his wealth or prideful attitude. 

Here are the secrets to being the kind of man that women want (Mr. Darcy):

Mr. Darcy guards his own heart. Women respect a man who is careful with his own affections, it's attractive. It means he's not taking you out for coffee in the afternoon and then movie nighting it on the couch with Sophie-what's-her-face. What may seem like a pompous attitude is just Mr. Darcy being cautious.

Mr. Darcy makes efforts with Elizabeth. He asks her to dance, he puts himself in her presence so he can talk to her and perhaps show he is interested. When guys are aloof it can be a turn off because we want them to be men and pursue us. Like when Darcy tells Elizabeth he loves her. 

Mr. Darcy cares deeply about family and friends. Nuff said.

Mr. Darcy makes amends for his wrongdoings. He tries to rectify the situation between Jane and Mr. Bingley, and he helps patch up the scandalous runaways Lydia & Mr. Wickham. When he helped get Jane and Mr. Bingley together he was proving that he listened to Elizabeth Bennet and took the time to consider that he might be wrong about the situation. Us girls like that.

He loved Elizabeth so much that he goes out of his way to help her family members (I am speaking of silly little Lydia). Too often guys do not want to go through the "trouble" of winning a girl over. They want a girl handed to them, they want the girl fawning all over them first. Mr. Darcy took great leaps of faith in proclaiming his feelings for Miss Bennet. Women want to feel that they are worth the trouble a man takes to pursue them.

Finally, Mr. Darcy has good hair and sturdy boots. YUM.

Those are the thoughts of a young woman living vicariously through Jane Austen novels. 

"We are all fools in love"