Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Compartmentalization

I have been compartmentalizing the Lord's undertakings in my life. It's actually a little silly, like, comical.

In the morning I am angry with him for not doing anything about my struggle with insecurity. Now, I'm not gonna pretend like I don't still feel that way. Because I am still confused about where the Lord is in some dark places I often go to. (This isn't the comical part) 

Then, in the afternoon I find out all these wonderful folks in my life have donated to my trip to Spain without me knowing. And a lot of them were generous in their givings. The Lord has completely provided (via friends & family) for my trip to Spain this summer!! And I thought, 'wow another beautiful confirmation that He is sending me to Spain'. He has plans for me- no- for His Kingdom, even better. 

Wait...how can God be moving so clearly in parts of my life but then be doing nothing in others? I guess I need to trust that the same Father who is sending me off on this great opportunity, the same Father who has placed wonderful people in my life, the same Father who has put me at a job I love and placed a group of girls in front of me to pour into...this same Father is not ignoring other areas of my life. He is not unaware or unconcerned with my struggles. This 'revelation' or whatever you want to call it, has not fully sunk in yet. It's a pretty concept, and certainly encouraging, but my battle still exists. And most days I feel like I am fighting it all on my own. 
BUT, I am not alone. God is so faithful to his followers. Faithful. Yeah, that is the word. He is stubbornly determined against darkness and the devil. I gotta remember that.