On returning

Dear Life, 

       

      In just 9 days I will be returning to San Diego! Can you say "sushi family brothers laughter beach best friend cousins thanksgiving cafe 976 sunny weather" without smiling? -- CUZ I CAN'T. 

      Then, I will be returning to FOREST HOME. More capital letters!! I am so excited to be working Home for the Holidays! It is a winter retreat for family camp, ergo--> they need CCAs, which means they need counselors which means I RETURN to the place that gave me the best summer of my life. And I get to see some of my lovely staff andddd a lot of my favorite campers! :) 

      What an interesting last semester this will be. I feel like going from T-gives break and back to Harrisonburg in the Shire will be really odd and conflicting. Because I love San Diego, but I don't need to live there. But I really love camp and I want to keep working there. And I really love living at the Shire and this time of life leading a small group, still somewhat in the JMU community. It is all of these occupied corners of my heart but all of them are in such different places and all my friends and family are scattered about as well. shoot!

      Anyway, the Lord has been constantly whispering to me not to worry all semester. He keeps reminding me that when the time comes then pivotal decisions will be made, but not now. He gently reminds that worrying does nothing because it does not leave me any less conflicted, so I should enjoy the present. And I am doing just that. 

sooooooooooooooooo yeah.  

irresolutely yours, 

Kelly

p.s.- guess what this post reminded me of??? DUH. 

On jumping jacks

Dear Life, 

      You have been SUPER life-like lately. Seriously, jeeze lettin your true colors shine through. It is so odd I cannot decide if I am struggling right now. Well, I know I am struggling but I cannot decide if I am in a good place, or a hard place. Some things I go through are clear arrows at a sign that reads "BLESSED". Other obstacles lead me in the direction of "SUCKS". I don't know. Life is so messy. I am so messy. I am a big old mess. A mess of emotions, desires, nutella, chickfila, expectations, fears, naps, procrastination, sarcasm, long drives, wine and insecurity. WOW. Are you frightened? I feel like I frighten people. But there are some people I feel so comfortable around, so myself, so unafraid that I will screw up in front of them. I am thankful for people like that. I need to surround myself with them. And I truly hope I am that kind of person for my friends. I genuinely try to be. 

      I am so unbelievably blessed by my family. The fact that I can have a meaningful conversation with each of my brothers about pursuing the Lord and having doubts just knocks me off my rocker sometimes!! Hey, I don't have a rocker, but if I did, I would not be on it right now. I can never take that for granted. (not the rocker thing the brother thing)

      I am learning about Jesus. Well, I am trying to learn more about Him. I am going to just keep reading over the Gospels again and again, because that is all we have about Him and I want to know Him. This excites me. I need my own personal relationship with Jesus, and in order to do so I have to read the Word and discover things in my quiet time with God, apart from what I am told by others. I need to get to know Christ in a one-on-one setting. Let the Holy Spirit do his thang.

Hey, thanks for reading, it means a lot. 

Messily yours, 

Kelly 

p.s.- this wasn't really on jumping jacks at all, it's just a weird name for an exercise

On adam and eve blowin it for all of us

Dear Lifecakes,

      So I have been sick lately. Like the nasty-green-phlegm-scratchy-throat-blowing-my-nose-24/7 kind of sick. It's awesome. What's even more awesome? It messes up my sleep at night and I wake up to a hacking cough or to blow my stuffy noise. NICE! 

I know you are loving this post already. I think a cold like this is def a product of the fall of man. 

What else is a product of the fall? When your jeans get a hole in the inner thigh part. Ladies you know what I am talkin about. It is quite the depressing discovery. Let's just tell ourselves it is because the fabric on the jeans is too thin...

Another fall-of-mankind product: when you unload the dishwasher only to discover half the dishes did not get washed properly and might even still have remains of the food that was previously eaten off of them. We had a cruddy dishwasher at my house in San Diego, and we would always bellow at the devil when we unloaded! BELLOW I SAY. 

Alright, I'm being dramatic. 

Moving on, oh! oh! BIG news: MY ROOM IS CLEAN. haaaahhh!

It looks good, too. Like really good. Like I think my leather desk chair was hitting on my organized closet. I had to tell them no inner room dating. Leather desk chair took it pretty hard, but Liana just reorganized and cleaned out her room, so I think he'll be able to move on.

Also, I made some carrot cake with maple and cream cheese frosting. Can you spell B-O-M-B? 

It was something new for me so I am pleased. My next endeavor--> tackling a chicken chili for Shire dinner!

culinarily yours, 

Kelly

p.s.- ssnnnggmmmmm aacchhhkkkkk...oh sorry that was just my nose and throat being sicknasty still...

On pressing issues

Reasons why cleaning my rooms sucks: 

• lack of fun
• consumes time I could use to sit around and do nothing or be eating or watching my 10974th episode of Gilmore Girls
  
• my room is small and dark & therefore already a less-than-great atmosphere to be in let alone clean
• I'm afraid what I'll find underneath my 20-foot deep pile of clothes
• I don't enjoy doing it (see bullet #1)

Reasons why one shouldn't wear "Jesus is my homeboy" t-shirts:

• it does not make any sense
• it is confusing- is He your homeboy and your Savior? Is He your friend? Do you just think he held good values? 
• It is apathetic- comes close to making a statement of belief, yet doesn't.
• lacks reverence for God
• Pamela Anderson wore it once

                                                          Fin.

On what matters

"I just want to be beautiful". 

        A phrase that I would hazard a guess every female on the planet has thought at one point or another. Okay, large embellishment? Whatever. Regardless of what their idea of beauty is, or in what context, it is still something girls desire to be thought as. Beautiful. Attractive. Desirable. I'm thinking...'worth it'. Or being someone's first choice. Are any of yall feeling this? Are you thinking- "YUP" ?

What a heavy thing to carry around. It's exhausting! Even on my best-looking, most positive outlook day I could still find something wrong, or a reason why some charming dude has not swept me off my feet and declared I am exactly what has been missing from his life. (And if you already have that charming dude, you still want to be beautiful, it doesn't disappear).

        As I struggled with this one evening, I glanced at my bedside table and saw a small piece of paper I had purposefully placed there a week prior; it reads, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God".

Now, maybe what seems more satisfying/like a better solution to glance at is "God thinks you are gorgeous" or "You are beautiful exactly the way you are".

But this is better. I can relax and quit worrying about my outward appearance because it is nothing to do with the kingdom of God. And THAT is what matters and what I should seek after. What a beautiful conviction. It is not selfish. And it is of utmost importance. Such a better focus for me.

On awestruck autumn

Things as of late that have strong associations with autumn and which I have taken joyful part in: 

• strolls through a lovely neighborhood with a friend or two (Margeypoo :)
• breath taking drives with breath taking views of mountains and the breath taking sunsets. I have no breath left. 
• Deep affection for the changing leaves. Best color scheme there is. 
• Hot, homemade, zucchini soup with tomato-herb bread bought at the Harrisonburg farmer's market.
• Apple picking. boom. 
• climbing trees (can be applied to almost any season)
• purchasing new boots-- look out!
•  panera dates/bstud planning with my favorite co-leader
• wafting aroma of my constantly-burning, spiced cranberry candle!

enjoy these splendid photographic representations I have taken

 

On Psalm 63

^LIFE...

¹ You, God, are my God,
   earnestly I seek You;
I thirst for You,
   my whole being longs for You,
in a dry and parched land
   where there is no water.

 ² I have seen You in the sanctuary
   and beheld your power and your glory.
³ Because your love is better than life,
   my lips will glorify You.
⁴ I will praise You as long as I live,
   and in your Name I will lift up my hands.
⁵ I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;
   with singing lips my mouth will praise You.

 ⁶ On my bed I remember You;
   I think of You through the watches of the night.
⁷ Because You are my help,
   I sing in the shadow of your wings.
⁸ My soul clings to You;
   your right hand upholds me.

 ⁹ Those who want to kill me will be destroyed;
   they will go down to the depths of the earth.
¹⁰ They will be given over to the sword
   and become food for jackals.

 ¹¹ But the king will rejoice in God;
   all who swear by God will glory in Him,
   while the mouths of liars will be silenced.