Wednesday, September 22, 2010

basket case

I have had Sara Bareilles on repeat the past few weeks. I am dreading the day I realize I have grown sick of her new album through no one's fault but my own obsessional and constant listening. Let us pray this never happens. 
Anywho, she has a beautiful song called "basket case". The general gist of the song is:

Oh, send your armies in of robbers and thieves
To steal the state I'm in I don't want it anymore

I've been saving your place
And what good does it do?
Now I'm just a basket case

As I listened to Sara and her glorious vocal chords tugging at my heart (as per usual), I felt like I could easily call myself a basket case. But then I realized I wanted to know more about the general definition of 'basket case'. And ya know what? It is normally referring to a mentally-ill person or an infirm or failing thing/person. Something(one) disorganized, useless or crazy. 
Alright all jokes aside, I would not consider myself quite that far gone. BUT, in the light-hearted sense of the word I would not be offended as to label myself a basket case. Also, if we take a look at the ever-so-sweet lyrics of Green Day's oldie song "Basket Case":
Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me. 
It all keeps adding up 
I think I'm cracking up

^That could be me as well. Some days I do not know what I want. Some days I do not know how I live with myself. I look at so many people around me and am convinced that somewhere in my life I took a horrible wrong turn to end up with the habits and ways of thinking I have acquired. Plus, as stated in my previous post, when Life comes at me I tend to get a little nutso. I am a basket case because I cannot get my life in order. Or the things I can get in order are not what are supposed to be most important. I wish I worked harder in my tasks, in academics, in chores, etc. I also wish I did not hold on to certain things for so long. But then again, it might just be that exact vice of not letting things go that has given me a consistent faith, and also an intentional way of loving on people. I guess you could say I don't let people go. Which has served me well...but also poorly. 

Honestly, I usually give myself a break and just look up at the One who made me this way...I must be so amusing to Him.

All in all it is my emotional, over-analyzing, inability-to-sit-still and Life-wrestling-self that gives you the basket case who authors this blog.

1 comment:

  1. Good thing we have Jesus because we can't conquer life. Hardest fight I've ever been, but it's like 2 against 1, ya know? Me and Jesus vs. life... so take that.

    I love you.

    Leaving you with some powerful words....
    "Don't blink...." :)