As of late, I'm learning to be thankful.
I have been looking at my life and gazing past the pleasant events to just focus on what I don't have. For example, I have this wonderful teaching job, doing what I love to do with (mostly) adorable kiddos and yet I can sometimes think "I'm exhausted" or "I wish I made more money" or "do the teachers/administrators even like me?". Another example, I focus on how much I miss my friends and community back in Virginia (not wrong), when I could also focus on what a blessing moving back to San Diego has proved to be. I guess I feel like I am cheating on Virginia if I say that. I do not have the community I once had, especially in the sense of roommates (no offense Mom & Lulu), but I have family close by and I am making new friends all the time.
But, you know what I realized is hard about being thankful? I feel like if I speak a note of gratitude too soon then it will all slip away...like *poof* now that you are finally grateful HERE take this heaping pile of crap circumstances. How crazy is that? I am so irrational. And yet, obviously I do not think it is so crazy because it is my current state of mind. Or like, if I am thankful then I am somehow boasting about my life. Also, I am worried that if I take a good look at things to be thankful for...I won't find much. Or I will of course find things, but I will also find some not-so-pretty aspects of life. It's a tricky business.
Okay so, literally as I was typing this...my copy of One Thousand Gifts arrived! I got you Lord, I cannot wait to learn more about "embracing a lifestyle of radical gratitude". Hopefully.
So Life, I am thankful for new places to eat breakfast. Thankful for constant sources of acai bowls at numerous cutesie cafes and constant sources of real sushi. I am thankful for mornings when I drive by the ocean. I am thankful for kindergartners who constantly say "Hola Señorita Bishop!!" in the hallways. I am thankful for my mom. I am thankful for Laura Boyer, Jeff Bishop, Monique- the only person at Horizon who is younger than me (she's an aid for kindergarten), auntie Robin, Amy Pike etc. etc. etc.
And JESUS, who gave me LIFE and victory.
"Give thanks to the Lord for He is good. His love endures forever." Psalm 136