On joy in the little (& big) things

Dear Life,

       Well, you have done it again. Here I am, in transition mode. Well, I am slowly moving out of transition mode, but still. Camp is over (POOP) and school has started. But, the Lord has once again proven Himself GOOD. But I want to say this not just because I am happy circumstantially. But because He is teaching me, and stretching me, and showing me that not all seasons are filled with sorrow and forced joy. Sometimes the joy is just evident. And sometimes we have to grab the joy! I have to say--> you know what, there are things I can complain about and there are hardships I still struggle with, but I choose to focus on the blessings before me. I choose to recognize that life is not about happy or sad. Times are mostly an intermingling of those two. And sometimes they are more one than the other. I choose to take what I learned from working at Forest Home and apply it in Harrisonburg even if I do mourn after my summer. I choose to be incredibly thankful for The Shire, my new home, and see what opportunity I have at real intentional living with friends at a similar lifeplace as myself. I will grab that joy and hold fast to knowing that I have a Lord who is for me. I have a Lord who wants to use me. 

        Anyway, it has been an interesting past 2ish weeks. 

        Another note: I have been eating hummus like it's my job! Deli-made hummus from the Co-op. Hummus with tomatoes, wheat thins, red pepper, on a sandwich w/ avocados, etc. Can't get enough. 

        And, I am taking Spanish classes with professors who seem wonderful and friends in my classes. :)

        Here is something new- if you want to pray for me...I have been thinking a lot these past couple months about money & how in debt I am with loans. I guarantee if you are reading this- I am more in debt than you are. Trust me, I aint bragging neither. Pray that I trust the Lord and that He provides monetarily for me as I begin to pay those off in the next year. It can be very scary. 

adiós mis lectores/as, 

Kelly 

p.s.- shoutout to my BROTHA who started his own blog! I hope he keeps it up...hint hint! ;)

On ATTRACTION.

HE IS ATTRACTIVE. 

i just...i can never get over it...

And THEY are attractive...

why not me????

Perhaps you find this a strange posting to begin with after my long absence. I do not care. 

in love with fictional characters, 

Kelly

p.s.- it's good to be back. I hope yall stay tuned :)

On sunshine and sunburns

Dear Lifesies, 

         Perhaps in a twisted sort of way I enjoy a good sunburn. There are several reasons for this. For starters, the result. For me, the most likely end result will be turning my skin into that nice olivey brown color it takes on. The color that I always considered natural until I moved to a horrible place they call the "east coast". (just kidding folks, i love [most of] the ec) 

       Another reason I love getting sunburned is because it makes me feel alive. You know how it seems most of the male gender enjoy inflicting pain on themselves at one point or another? Be it wrestling, boxing, singeing off their leg hairs with a lighter, playing bloody knuckles, doing belly flops...and I could go on? Well this is my rabbit hole into that strange phenomenon. The pain feels good, its warm and stinging sensation reminds me that I am alive and that rays of the sun are in me! AH!

        This afternoon I departed the beach being fairly assured that I had been burned by the sun. I was excited with, albeit, a bit of nervousness as well regarding the pain that was sure to accompany my new state. Now, today I did not intend to get sunburned. Yesterday, yes, yesterday I might have been purposefully careless in order to ensure some color. But, today I applied sunscreen, just not very well and probably should have reapplied more often. Nonetheless, here I am, burnt. It's a funny idea to think of myself as burnt, isn't it?

EXCEPTION: the lateral sides of my thighs. I heave a huge sigh as I inform you that the right side of my right thigh, and the left side of my left thigh are still quite pale. They are living in a cottage with 7 dwarfs. In fact, they appear even whiter up next to the tan/red hue of the rest of my leg. Because the sun does not directly hit that spot as easily. It's sooo frustrating! I want an even tan!

However, this blog writer is still delightfully pleased with the discomfort of a sunburn. :)

lobsteringly yours, 

Kelly

p.s.- let us pray that peeling is not in my future!!

it don't come easily

Dear Life, 

       if a person slumbers and there is no one around to hear- do their snores make a sound? That's what I have been catching up on- sweet, sensible, sleep. Although this does present the problem of more dreaming; and if you do not already know I HATE DREAMS. 

      I was digging into an orange earlier and it's juices were spilling out onto my hands and it tasted quite delectable. Simple things. 

      I tend to live out my day in an entirely selfish way. Especially if that day is in the middle of summer, with my job still a good week away and no other real obligations. I want to work on that. Mom needs help sorting out boxes and such for the house move (insert sad emoticon and actual forlorn face here). And the Lord deserves a good chunk of my day reserved for processing Israel and praying for life, friends, Zababdeh (small town in the West Bank), etc. Even the beach has not received my adequate attention. There are grains of sand to be scuffled, waves to be surfed, and sunsets to be admired. I am sounding more selfless already, aren't I?

But for serious, here is to glorifying the Lord more in my every day life!

zealously yours, 

Kelly 

p.s.- Another smattering of thoughts for a post because too many giant events and overarching thoughts to even begin something worthwhile. Beggin your pardon- I'm sure you don't mind.

Holy, Holy, Holy

I am departing for Israel tomorrow. 

It is happening. If I continue to think/talk about it I will FREAK OUT AAHHHH ASLKJHCGDUSHDUWFTCVGSBHIJHBTDR9876TBJHG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let me just say, I cannot wait for encounters with my Savior and Father on this trip, but I am fearful of trying and worrying and over analyzing and comparing and too much journaling and not enough journaling and feeling emotional etc etc

I just want to be. With Him.

Soon, and very soon.

A smattering of consciousness

Dear Life, 

       I have been thinking about how nothing feels substantial enough to blog about, nothing has given me that zing thought "Oh I am totes gonna blog about that". But, then I realized, actually maybe so much is happening right now that I have not slowed down to blog, or they are all far too substantial to blog about. Moreover, I cannot put into words the rush of emotion I feel about this season of life ending, or the anxiousness I have towards this summer, or the joy I have felt as my friends and I execute some "lasts" of ours. Often I post light-hearted, unimportant content on here and there just has not been much of that. So, in hopes to alleviate this feeling of hurriedness (I think I made that word up) and becalm my spirit, I will make quick, snippity (also made up) remarks on 'common' events lately. 

       I saw the sun rise this morning over the mountains with some good friends amidst a week of busyness. What a gift. Thou burning sun with golden beam, indeed. Oh praise Him! 

      I love when the purchases I buy in one outing are so fun. And it is never about the purchases themselves but the reason behind them. Buying blueberries, pears, spinach lettuce, gorgonzola, and green peppers to make a summery dinner for a friend. Buying a new, beautiful journal that I love so I can document ISRAEL. (IsraelIsraelIsrael) And buying some necklaces to give to several of my 8th grade girls whom I adore and have been so privileged as to be a part of their lives.

      Lastly, because it is the norm that I complain about the weather...seriously summer has still not come full force and even spring has been weaksauce. I can't wait to be in California climate soon.

avoiding the reality that this week signifies, 

Kelly 

p.s.- *sob*

O sweet spontaneous earth

Dear Life,

I need to pause more often. 

Just this late afternoon I wound up having some unexpected free time and pulled over to what appeared to be a scenic road. I stopped and got out and plopped onto the grass. Often I punish myself for thinking too much, especially about issues or circumstances I feel can injure my heart if I dwell on them. But, perhaps I need to give myself some healthy moments of peace where I can think and breathe and see that my thoughts are not going to bring the world crashing down on me. It was a beautiful day. I was lying down on my stomach, propped up on my elbows, taking special notice of everything surrounding me. The blades of grass were dancing and fluttering endlessly in the wind, with the few vibrant yellow flowers close by bobbing up and down. There were birds flying and zipping from tree to tree, and others were singing their repeating melodies. Two high whistles and one lower one. Two high whistles and one lower one. Like a chorus in a song. The clouds were wonderful. All sorts were out today. There were the wispy long ones that look like a paint brush sweeped them across the sky. There were those full and majestic clouds that look proud and of whitest white. And then I saw some like cotton balls with the ends all teased out. The sun was not quite saying farewell but was definitely not at it's strongest. There were rolling hills in the distance, and a church with it's empty parking lot right next to my peaceful spot.

Sacrifices need to be made more often for me to set aside time like I had today. 

Thanks for letting me get all lyrically descriptive up in hurr. I just felt like taking my artsy thoughts and putting them on [internet] paper. 

wistfully yours, 

Kelly

p.s.- another e. e. cummings poem in my title. Cheeyeck it out.