This music makes me want to take a moonlit stroll in the snow, down Mason street, with the lamp poles casting an orange-yellow glow on the street, and look at the Christmas lights on the houses.

It makes me want to curl up in a warm blanket with a good book that gives me a good cry. The kind of cry that is cathartic and makes you feel sad and relieved at the same time.

It makes me want to sit in a favorite coffee shop while it's raining outside and I'm having good conversation with a good friend, clutching our warm cups of something delicious.

It makes me want to take a drive through the winding roads of the Blue Ridge mountains on route 33, and stare in awe at the thick forest, and not worry about what needs to get done.

Can you guess I'm missing Virginia?

moving out, moving in

My new housemates...

own a Bob Dylan album on vinyl. I mean, come on.
sit around in the living room doing various things, in a quiet that is not uncomfortable.
make up funny names for the cat. Names that sound like a mobster or dictator.
let me pick a ribbon out of her ribbon box.
play piano really well and it makes me all peaceful when he practices.
offer friendly conversation when they come home.
made a chore chart (not so stoked on that).

My new roommate, Lemon...

laughs at my jokes.
will let me play whatever music I choose while we do work.
offers me tea when she makes some.
has great conversations with me about what the Lord is doing in our lives.
will go out with me for margaritas at Miguel's right down the street.
doesn't care when I fart. She farts, too. Go figure.
shares her stuff.
is one of my best friends.
                                                           

an ode to gorgonzola

Gorgonzola,
You are so crumbly.
You are my crumbly delight.

I eat you in my salad.
I eat you on my sandwich.
I even put you atop a rice cake.

Others may deem our love
Strange or over the top.
But we know the truth.

In a world of many cheeses,
Cheeses I adore,
You are among the most desirable.

a note on my bro

      I don't know what I would do without my brother, Matt. He truly is a friend. One of the best I have. There are so many thoughts and emotions I have that I am too embarrassed to share with anyone else, but with Matty I can always open up even if it's just the surface of things. Often his desire to see people grow and heal replaces the human tendency to judge or critique. It helps that we have the same gene pool and grew up with overlapping experiences, so I know he handles a lot of things similarly or knows where I am coming from. I am so grateful to him and I am sad for those who don't have a sibling they can confide in, grieve with, and receive counsel from. 
                                                       I'm blessed, it's cool. 

Here is a quote from Donald Miller, referencing Brennan Manning and his wrestles with Jesus. I completely identify with Manning here:

"  Manning wrestled with God as much as he walked with Him. He seemed like the kind of man who would constantly tug at God’s shirt tails and ask, for the thousandth time, is it true? only to run into the village and explain to the rest of us that it was. Then to return, tug on God’s shirt tail and ask again, is it true?   "

May I arrive to the heavens and discover that the glory of God is more real and beautiful and true and good than I ever imagined. 

Here's the thing...

      ...I am so not a feminist, but it really irks me when guys complain about seeing a tampon in our purse/bathroom/trash. Or, when we bring up the mysterious and nasty period topic they just can't take it.
"Oh, I'M SORRY that you had to see the thing I have to shove inside of myself to keep me from perpetually bleeding for 5 days whilst simultaneously suffering from a whole host of other side effects (cramps, back pain, bloating, etc). Next time I'll be more sensitive so YOU, sir, don't have to deal with hearing about this issue that plagues me every damn month." 

Alright. Rant over. I will go back to being ashamed of this biological syndrome, meanwhile if you are a guy you will probably ignorantly attribute this to "pms-ing". Kelly, out. 

long time no see

      Lately I have been thinking a lot about you, Blog. I have had at least 4 streams of thoughts that gave me the idea, "I should write about that on my blog". But I didn't. Because when I actually do have time to write I just don't feel like it. Or I forget the great revelation/insight/funny anecdote in it's entirety. 

Anyway, maybe this is the beginning of more posting. The re-beginning. Picking up where I left off. 

      All I have to say is this: How can the one thing that brings me so much joy, fulfillment, and wisdom be the same thing that causes me so much frustration and confusion?

      I am referring to God. My faith. Oh the ups and the downs. I've been following Jesus for 15ish years now and sometimes I feel as if I still don't know nothin'. #beingreal